


A God, A Vampire and A Baby Walk into a bar

by consultations



Category: Being Human (UK), The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Humor, M/M, Parent!AU, Parent-Child Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 11:44:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consultations/pseuds/consultations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders comes home to a less than favorable house guest that happens to be his little girl that he didn't know he had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Anders walked into his and Mitchell’s apartment to find said vampire in the kitchen with a small child.

"What the fuck is that, Mitchell?” Anders asked.

The kid covered their ears at the cuss word and looked at Mitchell with pleading eyes.

"It’s okay, Margo." He told her. "Your daddy’s just cranky"

"Daddy?" Anders asked

"Yeah um, this girl, dropped Margo off about an hour ago. She said Margo was yours and she’s your problem now." Mitchell explained calmly. "She left after that. She’s not coming back, Anders."

"A kid?!" Anders asked still outraged.

"Yeah… I know." the vampire agreed. "Can we, um, keep her?"

"Mitchell…" Anders started.

"listen! I’m 118 years old! I’ve missed out on this whole family thing! She is yours too, y’know. She smells like you. But the point is, we can’t just get rid of her, Anders. Her mum just ditched her on a doorstep with a stranger, she can’t lose you too!” Mitchell pleaded. Anders was certain he was about to cry.

The god sighed in defeat and put his head in his hands. “Fine, we’ll try. but you should know, I’m doing this for you.”

Mitchell beamed and picked Margo up. “Margo, this is your daddy!” he said to the child. He looked at Anders with a grin. “Anders, this is your daughter, Margo!”

"Hey, kid." Anders replied with a forced smile.

“‘ello” she answered.

"how old are you, Margo?" Anders asked for conversation

"three" she told him.

"wow three, eh? you’re a big girl aren’t you?"

She just shrugged in response.

Three hours later, Anders and Margo were on the couch watching cartoons and laughing at the same time with the same blue eyes and charming smile. Mitchell stood in the kitchen watching his new family with hope that it’ll be a good one.


	2. Meet the Johnsons

It was a week since Anders found Margo on his counter top. They got everything they needed for the three year old, including clothes that fit, a child’s bed, some kid-friendly food (basically more fruits and vegetables were in the fridge now replacing the booze), child locks to hide everything that she wasn’t suppose to go into and other mundane things that you need for a child.  
Anders still wasn’t warming up to her the way Mitchell would have liked. He refused to take her to the bathroom when she needed to go and to tuck her in at night but it was better than last week. He at least gave her breakfast in the morning instead of waking Mitchell up to do it.

The thing that took toll on Anders and Mitchell alike was that the two have been avoiding Anders’ family like the plague. Anders didn’t know what to say to them about Margo. It was finally when Ty barged in one day as Margo was sleeping and demanded to know what was wrong with the two of them.

Finally Anders agreed that he’d tell them all tonight, around seven at Mike’s place. Then he was rude to Ty so his brother would get out and didn’t look around too much around the apartment.

After dinner that night, Mitchell bathed Margo and got her dressed in a pretty purple dress and dirty running shoes (as her request) so they could go and meet the Johnsons. When they arrived at the bar Anders looked at Mitchell and bit his lip.

"It’ll be fine, Anders." the vampire replied "they’ll love her"

Anders just nodded and for once, didn’t trust himself to speak. Mitchell reached over and kissed his temple and squeezed his hand. They got out and Mitchell postitioned Margo on his hip.

"Why are we here, da?" she asked him.

"To meet your uncles and cousin, baby." Mitchell replied with a smile and tucking a stray blonde hair behind her ear.

"Daddy’s family?" she questioned as she fisted her hands into Mitchell’s plaid top.

"Yeah, kiddo." Anders replied. "ready?"

She didn’t say anything but she nodded.

"wish I could say the same." Anders muttered and pushed the door open and went inside. Mitchell followed.

"Why are we here, Anders?" Mike got out before Anders fully got into the room.

"Is that a kid?" Olaf asked when Mitchell walked in.

"Yep!" Mitchell replied happily walking pass Anders and to the group by the bar.

He sat her on the counter and held her hand that she refused to let go of. Olaf walked over and smiled to the kid and took a long sniff.

"No way!" He said looking at Anders with a smile.

"what is it?" Axl asked

"She’s mine." Anders replied. everyone, besides Olaf gasped.

"you’re kidding?" Mike asked "You can’t take care if a kid."

"That’s a bit rude." Anders replied. "But I’m not going to argue with you, Mitchell’s been doing most of the work."

"lads," Mitchell said proudly. "this is Margo!"

"hello, Margo!" Olaf said happily. "I’m Olaf, your cousin."

She giggled and hid her face in Mitchell’s shoulder.

"What’s so funny?" the vampire asked her.

"He’s silly, da!" she said with a smile.

"Yeah, Olaf’s real silly." Mitchell agreed. "Hey, Margo, that tall guy, is your Uncle Axl and that guy over there is your uncle Ty and this dude right here is Uncle Mike."

“‘ello!” Margo replied with a shy smile.

Even without being a vampire or an oracle, you could tell Margo was Anders because she was just as charming. Anders was the same when he was small. All blonde haired and blue eyed with that dumb smile that made everyone wrapped around their finger. Anders has grown out of his natural charm when he no longer had to use it to get his way, until meeting Mitchell.

Within five minutes, Margo was out of Mitchell’s reach and across the bar on the couch with Axl and Olaf. they were bouncing her and playing some sort of singing game with her. And frankly, it looked quite dangerous. Mitchell barely let his eye wonder away from them, in fear of them hurting her.

"Oi, John!" Anders said clearly annoyed.

Mitchell turned to look at him with wide eyes. What did he do this time?

"She’ll be okay, yeah?" He told the vampire. "Olaf and Axl know better. They won’t hurt her."

"yeah I know, but…" Mitchell furrowed his eyebrows unable to find a real reason.

"Attached already." Ty joked.

"You have to let them leave the nest eventually, Mitchell." Mike agreed.

"He’s had her for a week!" Anders argued.

"She’s the closest thing I have to a family, besides you." Mitchell explained. "And come on! She’s fucking adorable!"

Mike and Ty both nodded in agreement to Anders who looked incredibly displeased with the situation before him. He didn’t even want the kid in the first place and now Mitchell cared for it like a new puppy! As much as he wanted to disagree with them, he couldn’t. Margo was fucking adorable.

It was around nine when the family left, much to Margo and Olaf’s disappointment. She had grown attached to her “cousin” in the last two hours.

"I’ll come and see you tomorrow, kid!" he promised her. "I’ll make sandwiches."

She nodded with agreement and took Mitchell’s hand so they could leave. Three minutes into the drive home, Margo was passed out and Mitchell was grinning at Anders.

"That wasn’t so bad. Was it?" he asked taking Anders free hand into his own.

"No, I suppose not." the god agreed. "but it’s like she’s brainwashed them! They love her!"

"She’s more like you than you want to admit." Mitchell said softly. "charming, sweet, empowered, and not to mention as cute as a button"

"Hey!" Anders protested looking at Mitchell while he drove.

"Look at the road!" Mitchell told him with a laugh. "We’ll discuss your cuteness later!"


End file.
